The Missadventures of Ame no Kisaki
by The Lazy Bitch
Summary: Yui Kanue, a boy-crazy Satanist and fujoshi, is sent to the Catholic all-girls school Ame no Kisaki and gets stuck rooming with the incarnation of evil himself. What else can go wrong? A whole damn lot. [Accepting OCs.]


**Me: Before we start I've got something to say… I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING MY OTHER STUFF BUT I'VE GOT A LOT GOING ON AND A LOT OF STUFF TO DO BUT I'LL TRY TO UPDATE MY POPULAR STORIES DURING CHRISTMAS BREAK! … Ok, I'm done. n.n**

**Kai: The idiot only owns her OCs. -_-**

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_**Chapter 1: **_meeting evil

Hi, everybody! I'm Yui Kanue, a new transfer student at Ame no Kisaki, a catholic all-girls school!

I was originally going to attend a normal private school because I live so far away and there were no free dorm rooms, but then one of the girls transferred out because of family reasons just as term two started. Lucky! …

…

… Oh, who am I kidding? I _**HATE**_ this! Only lesbians can be happy in a place like this!

Don't take it the wrong way; I have nothing against lesbians – one of my sisters is one – but I just don't see how anyone not interested in women can like living surrounded only by girls!

I. Can't. Live. Without. Boys!

I've always wanted my very own prince charming but if I have to live this way for three years I might – Satan forbid – settle for a complete and total hot mess!

And to make things worse this is a Christian school! I'm a Satanist and a fujoshi, for crying out loud!

I know, I know; I'm an ungrateful idiot who should be glad to be attending such a prestigious academy. But what can you expect from the spoilt, semi-sheltered youngest daughter of rich parents?

Again, don't take it the wrong way; I don't think I'm better than other people. I'm just a brat.

I'm actually really not that great in the looks department; I'm short, I have no boobs and my hair's about as silky as wires. I have dark blue eyes and mid-back long black hair; pretty normal for a Japanese girl.

This winter uniform looks just awful on me; mom made me wear the one with the long skirt so I couldn't look sexy even if I tried my best. I guess I could give the graceful look a try but I doubt it'll look right; I only know how to do loli or sexy (Ok _maybe_ I can't do those either…).

Honestly, the only thing keeping me from exploding is the fact that my BFF for life, Suzushi Domeikun, is attending this school with me…

Guess I should probably quit feeling sorry for myself and just get it over with…

I stared at the door in front of me, dreading what's on the other side. Once I open the door to my room there'll be no more turning back; I'll be stuck here for the next three years.

Sighing, I opened it and stepped in the room, silently scanning for possible hiding places for my electronics, diary, satanic stuff and yaoi manga.

* * *

_There! _I thought smugly, placing both hands on my hips, looking at my chosen hiding place with satisfaction. _No one'll think of looking there!_

I practically jumped out of my skin when I heard the door open, instinctively stiffening as I sharply turned to the door.

I relaxed when a blond girl just a little taller than me and a maid walked in. Thank Satan it's not God…

"Oh my, you must be my new roommate. Yui Kanue, was it?" smiled the blond. I gotta admit I'm a little disappointed I'm not with Suzushi but this girl seems nice enough.

"Yeah! Nice to meet you... uh…" I stopped mid-sentence, realizing I don't know her name.

"Mariya Shidou. And this is my maid, Matsurika Shinoji." She reached her hand out for me to shake, a gesture I happily accepted. "I hope we can become friends."

* * *

"I have a cool roommate, I have a cool roommate~" I sang joyfully as I skipped down the hall on my way to Suzushi's room.

My awesome best friend gave me a call a few minutes ago asking if I wanna come hang out while her roommate was out and since Mariya has archery now I figured I'd go. … Plus I can't wait to see Suzu again!

_I bet her and Mariya would get along perfectly! It's only natural that awesome people like each other!_ I thought as I flung the door to my BFF's room open (she gave me a spare key over summer break in case we get to be roommates).

"Suzu!" I beamed, seeing her sitting at her desk, studying (Yeah, right. She's probably reading yaoi manga. I wonder if she's got anything new…).

Suzushi is half American-half Japanese and, like most interracial kids, she's absolutely gorgeous.

Her proportions are ideal (which makes me a little insecure about my less than average ones), her eyes are like purple crystals, her skin is like porcelain and her hair is like soft, blond silk. Hard to believe such a perfect creature exists, isn't it? Needless to say I'm _a little_ jealous. (Authoress: More like a lot. -_-)

"Yu-yu!" she smiled, leaving her desk and pulling me into a tight hug. "I've missed you!"

A grin plastered itself to my face, "I missed you too!"

We pulled apart.

"Oh, Yu-yu, you look so cute in that uniform!" she chimed.

"I know." I lied, posing like a model. At least one of us thinks I look good in this trash.

"Oh, where are my manners? Come in!" We walked over to the small table in the middle of the room, sitting opposite of each other. "What's your roommate like?"

"She's so nice! She even helped me unpack!"

"That's good. Not everyone here is kind; I was afraid you'd get stuck with a rotten apple." She sighed in relief. Suzu's so sweet; I'm lucky to have such an awesome best friend. "What's this girl's name, anyway?"

"Mariya Shidou."

* * *

Suzushi's words weighed heavily on my mind as I made the trip back to my room. I just can't believe it.

According to her, Mariya is a wolf in sheeps' clothing.

Apparently, Suzushi borrowed a pencil from Mariya but forgot to give it back after class so she went to return it that night, but when she reached the room the door was open just enough to look inside. She peeked in to make sure they weren't asleep, but instead saw Mariya abusing her last roommate, Kanako.

_**No wonder the last girl left school. **_Stated a voice in the back of my mind.

_She left for family reasons! _I weakly tried to counter.

_**Bullshit.**_

_W-well you're just a figment of my imagination! So there!_

The voice was gone by the time I made it to the door.

I rummaged in my pocket for the key, letting out a sigh.

_It wouldn't be fair to Mariya if I decided on a course of action now. _

I pushed the key in the lock, turning it.

_I'll get to know her for a bit, then see how I wanna handle this situation._

I put the key away, placing hand on the doorknob.

_And besides, Suzu probably just saw Mariya and this Kanako person practicing a role-play for school or something. Yeah. That's definitely it._

I pushed the door open, my face lighting up to greet my kind roommate– "Ehh?!"

There stood Matsurika – holding a pair of fake boobs – and a boy – with the exact same face and hair as Mariya – wearing boxers and a corset and cursing at the maid.

_Th-this c-can't be right… there's got to be some sort of misunderstanding… after all Suzu can't be right about _everything,_ can she?_

Neither Matsurika nor Mariya seemed to notice me as the maid helped her mistress- er, _master_ put on his fake boobs and uniform. _Girls'_ uniform.

_Sh-she's a he?! But why?! How?! When?! _My mind was racing with thoughts. Too bad I didn't have time to think of answers. They turned to the door, most likely to leave, and saw me.

… _Shit._

"Oh, Yui, I didn't see you there!" exclaimed Mariya in a sweet, female voice; way different from the one he was talking in before. "I promised to show you around because your friend was busy, didn't I?"

"N-no you didn't!" I shouted (begged). I feel like I just opened the gates of hell…

"I have some free time so why don't we go now?"

My new nightmare fuel and his maid walked right past me, totally ignoring what I just said.

"S-stop ignoring me! Hey, wait!" I ran after them, stumbling a little, determined to figure out what's going on.

* * *

I followed Mariya and Matsurika to a secluded path. Thinking it over that probably wasn't the best idea I've ever had…

"M-mariya…?" I forced out the word, shaking. Why am I so afraid of this person?

"Yes? What is it, Yui?" he turned to smile sweetly at me. Usually when someone looks at me like that I mentally go 'So cute!', but when he looks at me like that I pee a little.

"Y-you're a b-boy?"

"What do you mean?"

I have no idea what type of witchcraft is responsible for this but I suddenly got a burst of courage. Why me…?

I angrily pointed at him, "You're a cross-dresser!"

His face suddenly became that of Satan him/her/itself, "Let me make this clear: I'm not a transvestite and I'm not some kind of quire either. I sure wouldn't dress like this if I could help it."

"Then why in Satan's name are you doing it?!"

"I don't have to tell _you_ if I don't feel like it."

"Son of a–"

"Besides, are you in any position to point your figure at me?" _Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit…_ "Come on, do you honestly think I didn't see your manga and satanic ornaments?"

"But I hid those–"

"In the closet."

"B-but–"

"You're a Satanist and a fujoshi, aren't you?"

"N-no–"

"Admit it."

"Oh, like you're one to talk! You're a cross-dressing boy in an all-girls school!"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Eh?"

"So what are you gonna do about it?"

"Report you, of course!"

What he did next was something I defiantly didn't expect.

He raised his hand, "I see… then I have no choice."

And… and r-ripped Matsurika's top?!

My eyes widened and I felt like throwing up, "Why?! What the hell is wrong with you!?"

The asshole just ignored me, speaking to Matsurika, "Listen, Matsurika. Same story as last time." They've done this before?! I'm really starting to feel sorry for that Kanako person…

"Couldn't you come up with something new, you piece of shit?" stated the maid in a monotonic voice. That's the first time I've heard her speak and I just wanna say I peed a little.

"I'm gonna forget you said that and move on." The incarnation of evil then turned to me. Help…? "Yui, you are the detestable fiend who tried to have her way with my maid."

"Ehh?! I'm not a rapist! And I don't swing that way!" I growled back. I was going to hurl some more protests his way but was interrupted by one of the girliest screams I've ever heard. And no, it didn't come from Matsurika. "What the hell?!"

"Upon hearing the scream people will come here to investigate."

"Ehh?!"

"Such a pity for poor Yui; she's gonna be expelled because she couldn't keep her hands to herself. Just think what your family will say…" grinned the hell-spawn. I want my mommy…

And so, before he could continue with his little routine, I did what any sane person would do in this type of situation; I got down on my knees and begged, "Please don't hurt me! I won't tell anybody, I promise just please don't hurt me!" …

…

… Silence.

The only sound heard for the next few minutes was the wind blowing.

Suddenly Mariya broke out laughing, "Seriously? You're even more spineless than Kanako!"

"Yes, she is quite pathetic." agreed Matsurika.

* * *

After the life changing experience that screwed me over for the next three years was over and done with I sought out refuge at Suzu's room.

It's ok, really. Whatever happens to my pride means nothing as long as I can survive the hell Mariya's going to put me through.

And as I opened the door to Suzu's room one thought dominated my mind:

Suzu really _is_ always right.

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**Me: I haz announcement! From now on I'm adding character profiles and extra sections at the end of each chapter in my stories. I need all the information on the profile plus appearance, personality and anything else you want to add. Please note that the last stat is a special stat that varies with each character and is there for humor only, and that the My Comments section contains comments I, the authoress, has on the character so leave it blank. Thanks for your time. n.n**

_Profiles_

Yui Kanue

Date Of Birth: June 6th

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Age: 15

School: Ame no Kisaki

Grade: high school, 1-A

Dorm: 2

Roommate: Mariya Shidou

Known Relatives: unnamed parents, unnamed older sisters

Likes: yaoi, boys, Satan, Suzushi Domeikun, cool people, nice people

Dislikes: Mariya Shidou, Matsurika Shinoji, the uniform, the school

Ideal Partner: cute, nice, sweet, pretty, a little feminine

Stats:

• Kindness: 6/10

• Physical Strength: [varies] 5/10 when calm, 11/10 when angered

• Stamina: 8/10

• Brains: 4/10

• Social Skills: 7/10

• Love Of Yaoi: over 9000/10

My Comments: She was born to be trolled… XD

_Extras_

Fun fact: My brother and Mariya have almost the same personality. … And both of them scare me shitless.


End file.
